BIO MOM HAS STEP-MOM'S BACK

As a Step Mom, my role in disciplining my Step Kids has been different with each kid and changed as the kids have grown.  The biggest change has been with my Step Daughter Little Hart.  She was just two years old when we moved in together and is now almost fourteen. In Little Hart's younger years the bulk of her care fell to me and so did the bulk of the discipline.  We were very close during that time -  it was a natural fit.  

 

When Little Hart entered the teenage years, my husband took over the reigns of outlining and enforcing the rules of our house and the rules we have partnered with Greta as universal between households. When Little Hart asked to have a Facebook page, it was at an younger age than her siblings which gave us pause.  

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CREATING BLENDED FAMILY TRADITIONS BUILDS FAMILY UNITY

Creating traditions in our blended family gave us a launching pad for building our family unity and close relationships.  Two traditions we started early on have stuck with our family, movie night and bowling! The last two days of the Holiday break we were lucky enough to find time to do both with all three kids.  

Movies have been a big part of our family life.  Since the creation of our family, most nights we have watched a movie together. When the kids were younger, we would split the movie viewing over a couple of nights. The whole enchilada came as they've grown older.

Some movies we've seen a like million times - Home Alone! Ugh! Others we've had to negotiate with the kids - watch a 20 minute preview before they can say no to the particular film - never had a NO after the preview period.  Everyone in our family can repeat any number of favorite lines from hundreds of movie. No background information necessary - just the delivery of the line and we all chime in with the punch line. It's a language that created a bond that continues to grow with every laugh, thrill and cry we share.  

In fact, one of our family trips was inspired from a movie we watched together and the kids fell in love with - namely it's location.  The movie - Italian Job. The location - Venus, Italy.

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HAPPY 2012!

SCHEDULE BRINGS COMFORT AND SECURITY FOR THE CHILD

Our Christmas holiday has been a little upside down and every which way this year. We haven't quite got our groove with the new reality - one home from College determining his own schedule, one almost ready to leave the nest and our youngest - 14- still needing and wanting structure in a Holiday schedule. 

In years past, the schedule simply rotated from year to year  -  one family spent the week before Christmas through Christmas Day at two o'clock with the kids - the other family spent Christmas Day through New Years Day.  No negotiation, that was just the deal we had all agreed too.  Parents and kids looked forward to essentially a Holiday break from the divorce schedule. 

This year when we acknowledged Jax"s freedom to make his own schedule as an "adult" we indirectly gave that freedom to Little Hart 14.

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HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS - FINDING BALANCE BETWEEN TWO HOMES

Jax arrived home for Christmas Break 11 days ago.  So far, Jax has been strong and confident about where and how he is going to spend his time.  A 360 degree turn from the Thanksgiving Break. Long story short, Jax tried to please everyone, but himself. Doing the bulk of what others wanted and very little of what he wanted. He was frazzled and anxious by the time Sunday rolled around.

On Thanksgiving Sunday, Jax arrived at our house - twenty minutes before he had to leave for the airport. He took a quick shower - finished packing - leaving just a handful of minutes. Jax spent them sharing the latest sports news with Raylan.  As Jax left he looked at Raylan "Dad, I can't wait to watch a football game with you in the same room!" The door closed and he was gone.

Jax determining HIS own schedule was bound to come with some growing pains. 

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